English is one of those classes where we are firmly encouraged to bring our "devices" to class. As a result, I keep feeling the itch to blog. Nothing serious: that's for my other blog, which hasn't been written in for about 9 months. Just something to occupy me in my time dissecting literature, when really all I want to be doing is going to my radio station and speaking in Spanish.
Anyways, what I'm thinking about today (in the intermittent way that one thinks about things when they tune in every other sentence to a discussion on waves in poetry) is my trip this winter.
Maybe its just a result of having lived here for the summer, but I am ready to leave Fairbanks. I love it here. But I really, really miss Ecuador.
A lot of my life recently has been living vicariously through Facebook.ecuador. Because there, my life had a bigger purpose. It was worth more.
I am happy here. I have amazing friends, and things to occupy me. I'm learning things that interest me to varying degrees. I'm moving towards a degree, and a life, and the seasons change.
But I don't know if what I'm focusing on is what I want to be focusing on. Despite the order my life seems to have fallen into, I don't feel motivated, and I don't think that order has given me the assurance I thought it would bring.
So I'll keep searching. And this winter, I'm going to fill my life with things--not school-- but things that I want to motivate me. For this reason, the idea of a 10-day, intensive study course fills me not with dread, but with excitement. For this reason, the idea of vacation means not that I'll get a sun break, but that it will reconnect me with Maryam and my family, and hopefully with Ecuador.
Oh, winter break.
